woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
