so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize