Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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