Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize