I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize