how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
organizing the empties. That sober.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
