I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize