five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
