You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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