Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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