One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
