I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just found a bag of teeth...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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