I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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