Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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