The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
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I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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