Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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