I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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