got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
