Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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