doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
