You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
