I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
