i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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