Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
