winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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