Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
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And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just want nice things and good sex
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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