how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
