Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
