Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
