No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
