tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.