Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder