We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that