My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?