Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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