im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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