so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
