I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
