Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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