If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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