the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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