ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
