i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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