You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
