Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
