erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
