I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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