I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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