She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
