and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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