dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
