He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize