Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
