Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
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We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
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my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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