had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
