I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so let's talk penis.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize