idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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