I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
