I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
