So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
