Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize