You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
