Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
