4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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