Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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